Comedian. Convert. Chaos Manager. Recovering Californian.
Southern by choice.

Feral & Faithful by necessity.

I’m Carollynn Xavier—an Orthodox Christian Catechumen, former atheist, recovering love addict, and forever mom in the making.

For most of my life, I didn’t believe in God.
But I did believe in fairy tales—especially the ones that said if I could just be lovable enough, good enough, or beautiful enough, someone would come along and save me.

I spent years searching for that someone, chasing applause, chasing men, chasing healing in all the wrong places. I didn’t know what I was really looking for was Christ—the one who had been with me even in the mess, even in the silence.

My conversion wasn’t tidy. It didn’t start in a pew or with a sermon.
It began in the ashes of my own undoing—in the deep brokenness where I ran out of stories to tell and finally became desperate enough to hear the truth.

What followed was repentance. What followed was mercy.
And what followed that… was motherhood, marriage, and a calling I never expected: to step out of the spotlight and into a life that looked nothing like the one I’d planned—and everything like a work in progress.

Today, I co-host Who Gave Jeff Allen a Podcast?, where we talk about the raw parts of faith: recovery, suffering, transformation, and joy that survives the fire. I also create small writings, journals and merch for the feral faithful—women walking out their salvation with honesty, humor, and the occasional spiritual meltdown.

If you’re still becoming, still repenting, still wildly in love with a God you’re just beginning to know—you’re in the right place.